USA 2010  Directed by: Scott Stewart Written by: Peter Schink, Scott Stewart   Produced by: David Lancaster, Michel Litvak   Cinematography: John Lindley   Editing: Steven Kemper   Music: John Frizzell  Cast: Paul Bettany, Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson, Adrianne Palicki, Charles S. Dutton, Kevin Durand, Willa Holland, Kate Walsh

What were they thinking? That the world needs another mediocre story about angels and demons, good vs. evil as represented by a personal conflict between two archangels? That we need a remake of 30 DAYS OF NIGHT (which we like and consider very underrated by the way) set in a desert? That we need a second-rate remix of various elements borrowed from CONSTANTINE? Dear studio, this is not a Screen Gem.

LEGION features one place, a handful of characters, two angels and plenty of horrible dialogue paired with even more horrible acting and hence has truly earned to fail big time. Where ZOMBIELAND is minimalist LEGION is lacking. Where DAYWATCH is innovative LEGION is redundant. Where 30 DAYS OF NIGHT is atmospheric LEGION is, well, dusty.

Paul Bettany is Michael and we never really understand why he has issues with Gabriel. Get a grip. Sure, humans are cute and worth saving. But I reckon as long as we have the Governator we can save ourselves from a bunch of clumsy demons. And we certainly don’t need Dennis Quaid’s assistance. Man, he’s so not acting here. Try pantomime. The rest of the politically correct cast is not more believable either. I’d better invite Woody Harrelson for combat. By the way: why do demons always have to fight with modern guns? It’s like as soon as a demon arrives on earth he’s gotta equip himself with an arsenal of high-tech weaponry. Very innovative.

What else is to tell? Nothing much. If you enjoy low-grade angels-demons-vampire-zombie-whatever flicks you might find LEGION good enough for a pizza-and-beer evening. If you think calling the key location Paradise Falls is clever, you probably didn’t finish primary school. If you’ve expected LEGION to be a classy movie worth to be released on the silver screen you’ll be utterly disappointed.

LEGION is a lukewarm dish better served direct-to-video. Anything likable about it at all? Yep. We like the scene with the old hag being finished off. That’s half-way classy. Try to find it on YouTube. No, really, what were they thinking?


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